Critique

CRITIQUE SERVICE

I work as an independent book editor, line editor, and writing consultant. I
primarily serve novelists and short story writers.

Nowadays, a writer must present a picture-perfect manuscript. I work closely
with writers in a long-term relationship to shape fiction into the best product
possible.

I prefer to work with budding writers who are open-minded and willing to
rewrite. A novel is not written. It is rewritten.

I cannot guarantee publication. No one can. Our writing relationship is not
finished until your novel is published. (At that point, we celebrate with a
lobster-and-champagne supper. You buy.)

FICTION CATEGORIES

NOVELS
ADULT
YOUNG ADULT
          JUVENILE
(No picture books, please)

                             SHORT STORIES


QUERIES
SYNOPSES

Before sending a manuscript, email me at lorenzo1776@yahoo.com.

Send manuscripts to:

2201 Double Creek Drive, Suite 5001
Round Rock, Texas 78664

MY FORMAL EDUCATION.

Ph.D. (Spanish literature/1980/University of Kentucky)
M.A.C.T. (Spanish/1975/Western Kentucky University)
B.A. (Majors: Spanish and French/1973/Western Kentucky University)

I take on five promising writers a year. (Sorry, five is my limit. I have my own
writing to do.)

PUBLICATIONS & AWARDS:

LORENZO AND THE TURNCOAT (2006)
LORENZO’S REVOLUTIONARY QUEST (2003)
LORENZO’S SECRET MISSION (2001)
LORENZO AND THE PIRATE (2009)

GREEN SLIME AND JAM (2001)
KICHI IN JUNGLE JEOPARDY (2006)

GEORGE LOPEZ: LATINO KING OF COMEDY (Ages 8-12)

FAMOUS LATINOS (2006)
Biographies for ages 4-8

CESAR CHAVEZ
ROBERTO CLEMENTE
FRIDA KAHLO
GEORGE LOPEZ
ELLEN OCHOA
DIEGO RIVERA

Short Stories published in PIF Magazine, Millennium Science Fiction and
Fantasy, San Diego Writers Monthly, Xoddity, Austin Writer, Roswell Literary
Magazine, Canadian Writers Journal, Touched by Adoption, Round Rock Leader,
and other publications.

Honorable Mention in Fiction, National League of American Pen Women
(Short Story: "Star Apples")

LORENZO AND THE TURNCOAT
Winner, Arizona Authors Literary Award, 2006
Finalist, Cybils Award 2006

LORENZO'S SECRET MISSION
Finalist, Book of the Year, ForeWord Magazine, 2001
Finalist, Golden Spur (Texas State Reading Association), 2006

LORENZO'S REVOLUTIONARY QUEST
National TCARA Book Award, 2006

Finalist, Writers League of Texas Manuscript Contest, YA Division:
FLINT AND STEEL
MESSAGE IN THE MIRROR

I am looking for fiction writers who have studied the craft and are serious
about writing.

No pornographic material, please.

Close-minded clients who refuse to rewrite need not apply.

Clients must submit the first 10 pages of a fiction piece, a check for $40, and
SASE. I will edit and send the work back. If the client likes my work, we will
continue working together.

Ideal clients have Internet access and agree to meet via Yahoo chat to
discuss their work.

I accept checks, Paypal, and credit cards.

Clients must send SASE for return of work.

CHARGES

$2.50 per page.
Courier 12 font only.
Times Roman does not give enough room for edits.

Twenty-five lines per page. Sixteen lines maximum on the first pages of
chapters.

What do you receive?

Content/Substantive editing
Line or copyediting
Instructional material as needed
Pre-Editing Consultation
Post-Editing Consultation
Sample Edit for a fee
On-going coaching
A final read-through of the manuscript when all changes have been made.

My typical turnaround time for the initial reading of book-length fiction is two
weeks.

MY PHILOSOPHY ON WORKING WITH WRITERS

I don’t believe in taking advantage of people. Likewise, I don’t like to be
taken advantage of.

I welcome questions.

Writing is a difficult skill to master. Getting published is even more difficult.
You need someone in your corner.
===================================================================
WRITING TIPS

STANDARD MANUSCRIPT FORMAT

As the old saying goes, you never get a second chance to make a first
impression.

Here are some general guidelines for your manuscript.

l. Use Courier New or Times Roman (12 pitch). Why? It's easy to read.
Editors have to read thousands of pages each week. Don't use shocking
colors and fancy fonts in an effort to "stand out from the crowd." You'll stand
out all right. Your name will be burned in my brain and the next time I see it,
I'll groan. There are also typesetting reasons for using Courier New.

2. Your manuscript should have twenty-five lines per page (except the first
page).   The first page should have fourteen lines of text.

3. Put a slug line (your last name, a short title, and page number) at the top
right of every page (except the first). This is how it should look.

                                                                                             Guzmán/Pirate   2

Why is this so important? Let me tell you a story. One night, I was on the
couch with a pile of manuscripts. My son, who was six at the time, leaped into
my lap.
Papers went flying. The scalding cup of coffee in my hand sloshed all over
me--and the manuscript.
"Daniel!" I shouted, my temperature rising.
My angry voice prompted my daughter to yell "Run, Forrest, run!"
Daniel tore out upstairs and didn't show his face for the next hour. (A very
wise move on his part)
I gathered papers and spent the next thirty minutes sorting them and
grumbling. Thank goodness the manuscript had slug lines.

Oh, and in case you're wondering, Daniel lived to see his seventh birthday.

4. Have a 1" margin all around.

5. Use a standard header on the first page. For example:

On the left include your name, address, telephone number, email address,
and website.

On the right, give the genre and approximate word count.


Half way down the page, center THE TITLE. Beneath that, double space and
type Chapter One. There should be no more than fourteen lines of text on
the first page.

DO NOT PUT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER ON YOUR MANUSCRIPT. There
is a thriving industry in stolen social security numbers in the United States.
When an editor buys your story, he/she will send you an acceptance letter
and a contract. At that time, the editor will ask for your social security number
for reporting income.

Don't put a copyright mark on your manuscript. It makes the writer look like
an amateur. Your publisher will get a copyright in your name.

====================================================================
Common mistakes in manuscripts

1. No hook on page 1
2. No hook at the end of Chapter One
3. The hero has no goal. (X wants to ____ because ______)
4. It starts too slow
5. It's unoriginal.
6. Wrong facts.
7. No redeeming qualities in the antagonist
8. A protagonist who is too unlikeable
9. No overriding theme/no book goal
10. Lack of goal, conflict, disaster.
11. Too many characters
12. Too many characters introduced too soon.
13. Showing vs. telling
14. Starting with someone other than the protagonist (unless it starts with a
prologue)
15. Not having the protagonist carry the action
16. POV switches from paragraph to paragraph.
17. Do not keep secrets from the reader.
18. characters doing things apparently unrelated to what other characters
are doing.
19. Plot glitches.
20. Straining belief.

*************************************************************************************************************
ABOUT CONTESTS

Let's say you have finished a manuscript and need feedback. One of the best
and most subjective ways to get an honest opinion is to enter a contest.
There, someone who does not know you and has no vested interest in you
will read your work, rate it against other entries, and (perhaps) give you
suggestions for improvement.

What will the judge be looking for? Here are the categories. (100 is a perfect
score.)

1. Does the book open in the correct place? Does the opening "hook" grab
your attention?

2. Is the setting clearly defined without extraneous description? Is there a
clear sense of time and place?

3. Are the main characters, their goals and motivations clearly established?
Do they engage you as a reader? Are their actions/reactions believable and
consistent?

4. Is the conflict believable and suitable to the genre/category? Is it clearly
established?

5. Is the plot unique, or a fresh approach? Is it believable and suitable to the
genre?

6. Is the writing active rather than passive? Is there a good balance of
narrative and dialogue? Is the pacing suited for the genre? Does every
word count?

7. Is the tone clear?

8. Does the story contain the elements essential for its targeted genre?

9. Is the manuscript neat and in proper manuscript form: Readable font, free
of typos, spelling and/or grammatical errors?

10. The strongest selling point of this submission (and miscellaneous score)

SCORING:

0-1: needs major revision
2-4: rough draft quality
5-7: average (has potential)
8-9: very good (ready to submit)
10: outstanding (set apart from most)